Mark Clark: Funny true stories about sports stars

Mark Clark: Funny true stories about sports stars

Sports stories come in several different forms. Some are sad. Some are exciting. And some are just plain funny while they deal with serious topics. Oh, yeah, some are weird. Today, I want to share some of the funniest and weirdest sports stories ever. I hope you enjoy them. In case you are wondering, I found these four stories among several others online at BuzzFeed.com.




Yankee Pitchers Swap Families

Two New York Yankees pitchers, Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekich, in the 1970s decided to take swinging to the next level when they traded families. The four were close and would often spend time together, until one day one of them must have joked, in that way that everyone knows isn’t a joke, “We should just trade lives!” and three other adult human beings all decided that that was a great idea. My favorite part of this story is that Peterson fleeced Kekich in the trade. Peterson is still with Kekich’s ex-wife Susanne, while Kekich and Marilyn Peterson’s relationship fell apart shortly thereafter. The moral? The 1970s were weird and scary.

O.J. Goes On the Run

You know the story at this point. One of the most famous and beloved athletes in the world, O.J. Simpson, is accused of killing his wife and her boyfriend. Four days after the killing, the LAPD allows Simpson to turn himself in. Instead he gets in The White Ford Bronco and tries to run, leading to the most surreal low-speed car chase in television history. And then despite the fact that he tried to run, and an overwhelming amount of evidence, he is acquitted of the crime — before being found “responsible” for the deaths in civil court. And he later writes a book called If I Did It describing the “hypothetical” murder in detail. And then goes to jail in the end anyway because he robbed a sports-memorabilia dealer at gunpoint in Las Vegas. All this actually happened.




MMA Fighter Plays God

The AP tells this story of an MMA fighter Jarrod Wyatt, who lost hold of reality during a drug trip with his friend and sparring partner. “When police arrived on March 21, 2010 at a home at the mouth of the Klamath River, they found Wyatt naked and covered in blood. He told the officers, ‘I killed him,’ and said he had cut out [Taylor] Powell’s heart and tongue, according to court documents. The officers found Powell’s body on the couch. 

His chest was cut open, and his heart, tongue and the skin of his face were gone, court records said. His heart was found charred in a wood-burning stove. An autopsy determined the organs had been removed while Powell was still alive, the documents said. Witnesses said the two ingested hallucinogenic mushrooms before the attack and believed they were involved in a struggle between God and the devil. Wyatt was reportedly convinced that the world was about to end and that Powell was the devil.”




I have no desire to eat mushrooms anymore.

Jason Grimsley Frees Albert Belle’s Bat

In a 1994 game between the Cleveland Indians and the Chicago White Sox, the White Sox challenged Indians star Albert Belle’s use of a particular bat, claiming it was corked. The home plate umpire confiscated the bat and put it in his locker to be examined after the game. At that point the Indians panicked. They knew the bat was corked. So they sent pitcher Jason Grimsley through the ventilation system and into the umpires’ locker room with a non-corked bat (belonging to Paul Sorrento, as all of Belle’s bats were corked). He got away with the switch, but the umpires knew something was up. Why? Because the bat had Paul Sorrento’s name on it. It was baseball’s dumbest version of Ocean’s 11 ever.

I hope you enjoyed reading these stories. There are many more I could have selected. I might give you a few more to read in the future – perhaps some that are my own that involve Bear Bryant, Jim Bouton, Lou Saban, Steve Young, Shawn Michaels and Dan Devine. Not to confuse you, but that is six different stories and not just one. Boy, wouldn’t that be one heck of a story if you could tie all six of those men into one story?

Mark Clark is a local sports writer for The Citizen of East Alabama.