Mark Clark: Quotes add to the fun of college football

Every year coaches, players, officials and fans make statements about college football that may be revealing, funny or even motivational. We listen to post-game interviews, grab the newspaper the day after games to read them. We watch the various sports recap programs to hear them and we listen to radio programs during the week just to get these golden morsels of knowledge. We love them. They entertain us.

The following quotes came from the 2018 college football season. Well, all of them except for the last one. It is from this season and it was made during a post-game interview this past weekend by a very familiar named player. Check it out after you read the quotes from last season first.

“Some.”

– Texas coach Tom Herman, when asked at Big 12 media day how many “elite” players he has on his roster.

“I’m not really interested in any of your suggestions about how we should manage our team and what we should do to get better, regardless of what you think, just because we’re playing The Citadel.”

– On whether Nick Saban was considering sitting starters, namely Tua Tagovailoa, against their Week 12 FCS foe.

“To me it’s kind of like mouse manure when you’re up to your ears in elephant doo-doo.”

– Nick Saban in preseason talking about the NCAA’s new rules capping the number of headsets that can be worn on the sidelines.

“He didn’t do nothin’ but get paid a whole bunch of money.”

– Houston defensive tackle Ed Oliver to Sports Illustrated on Texas A&M coach Jimbo Fisher getting selected for the main cover of Dave Campbell’s Texas Football magazine over him.

“I would say to any recruit or any potential guy that sees maybe what happened in the Ohio State game – I would say that alone is a mirage and what we’ve built here is a powerhouse.”

– Michigan defensive end Chase Winovich, in a media conference after Michigan accepted a bid to the Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl following a 62-39 loss to the Buckeyes.

“RPO is the purest form of communism.”

– Northwestern coach Pat Fitzgerald, on how he doesn’t understand how offensive linemen get to block so far downfield on run-pass option plays.

“You don’t wanna get tied up with him. You don’t want to let him get his hands on you. He is big and he’s got long leverage. So you don’t want him to get those things on you.”

— Mike Leach on scouting Oregon coach Mario Cristobal for a potential coach’s brawl.

“The only person I’m disappointed in is [Oakland A’s general manager] Billy Beane, I wish he would have given him more money. Maybe he wouldn’t have come back.”

— UCLA coach Chip Kelly, after Oklahoma quarterback Kyler Murray accounted for 375 yards and five touchdowns in a Week 2 win over the Bruins.

“The immediate future in my mind: Purdue beats Ohio State next Saturday.”

— Purdue fan Tyler Trent, who’s battling a rare form of bone cancer, to Tom Rinaldi after being asked, “How do you see the future?” Purdue beat the No. 6 Buckeyes 49-20 with Trent in attendance.

“Lamented? Lamented. Is that like laminated? I don’t know what that is. New word. Hey man, I’m from Alabama. It’s a big word. Lamented. Lemme write that down. I’ma tell ‘em, ‘I lament, y’all.’ They’re gonna look at me just like I looked at you.”

— Clemson coach Dabo Swinney, on if he lamented his punt team’s performance.

“That was the ultimate troll, wasn’t it?… I was hoping y’all might notice that.”

— Clemson coach Dabo Swinney, on a play-call card with a laptop photo on the sideline against NC State, a year after Wolfpack coach Dave Doeren accused Clemson of using a laptop on the sideline to gain an advantage.

This past weekend following Oklahoma’s win over Kansas, Sooners’ quarterback Jalen Hurts made the SEC proud while possibly ruffling the feathers of a few Big 12 fans, coaches, officials, and players. Hurts was asked about how he would handle the pressure of playing in the Red River Rivalry – Oklahoma vs. Texas – which will be played this week in the Cotton Bowl. Being from Texas, Hurts is not unaware of the importance of the bitter rivalry between the two universities’ football programs. Hurts handled the question with all the poise expected of a former National Champion at the University of Alabama. He answered:

“I played in the Iron Bowl. I’ve played in big games. Think I’ll be alright.”

I think that put some Big 12 folks – including some Big 12 media outlets – in their places. By the way, I think Jalen Hurts will be alright, too. And Jalen, thanks for giving your former league some love even if you did it to embarrass a bunch of Big 12 airhead media types.

Mark Clark is a local sports writer for The Citizen of East Alabama.