Denise DuBois: Women have to deal with so much already, why add body image to our concerns?

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Keeping track of the family’s budget, picking up kids from school, making sure dinner is fixed, trying to keep the house clean, making sure the inside of the car isn’t an embarrassment, scheduling family events and praying everyone else is okay. Those are just a few of the things I hear from my mom friends. Their responsibilities are vast and their minds are full of lists.




It’s rare that I hear of my mom friends taking time to work out, get a pedicure, or have their hair done at the salon. There is already too much on their plates.

As a woman, we feel the need to play hostess to everyone around us. Most of us take it upon ourselves to take responsibility for much more than we should. If you’re not a momma, your worries aren’t any less important – they’re just different. In addition to all the things we have to accomplish on a daily basis between work and living, we have the added pressure of making sure we’re presentable.

I’m not even talking about having clean hair and clothes. It seems these days, regardless of social media memes that show adult life as yoga pants and barely getting out of the house in the mornings, women are expected to be perfect. We can’t have an extra body roll or eyeliner that isn’t perfectly winged.

While I want to blame men for this one because I was bullied by a man about my body weight recently, I can’t. It’s not all men who are making women feel like they have to be perfect. Sadly, it’s each other. What do you do when you see a woman wearing short shorts or too tightly-fitted pants?

“Oh, she shouldn’t be wearing that.” 

As if what someone else is wearing directly affects us.

If a woman walks by with no make-up on her face, what do we say?

“She needs some eye make-up on!”

But what if she has too much on?

“Why is she wearing so much make-up?”

It’s like we can’t win here! I have a tribe of women around me and everyone fusses or complains about her appearance. We never feel good enough. But I look at these women and love them regardless of how they look. I wish we could get to a place where we stop judging what other women look like or what they’re wearing and just love each other for who our Lord created us to be. There are movements online encouraging women to build each other up, and I hope it catches on in real life like it has online.

We already have too much to be concerned about in this life without having to wonder who is talking about what we look like. Let’s realize someone else’s make-up preferences or body weight have nothing to do with us and move on to more important things.

Email me at ddubois@citizenea.com.